Being a Brown Bag Party Lady


I have dreamed of having my own business selling sex toys for over 3 decades!

It all started in little ‘ol Hanford, California!  Of all places – a small dairy town.  Right after I was married I was excited to be invited to a “_uck-a-Ware” party.  What?  Not Tuppeware? Yes.  I was only 22 and it all began then.

The sales lady was named Kiki and she handed out tiny penus erasers on equally tiny golf pencils for us to use for games and ordering.  I remember everyone being very nervous but desperate to learn from this seemingly advanced sexologist.  I remember wanting to try out all the battery operated toys.  And so my collection began.  And it never ended.

What I never got around to all these years was finding the time or energy to become like Kiki herself and sell sex toys for a living.  When I was laid off over a year ago it just slammed me in the face – I had the time NOW!

So I did a lot of research.  Turned out the various romance parties offered many diffrent options for the hostesses themselves as well as the consultants.  I chose Brown Bag Party for several reasons.  First and foremost a consultant makes 50% of what they sell.  That was a huge difference.  The hostesses received 20% of their party sales in free products.  Also huge offerings.  So I met up with a local Brown Bag Party cosultant asking tons of questions.  But she told me I was about to hit the jackpot.  I actually was signing up at a time when the $650 valued bag of products was going to be on sale for only $99!!  Well, it seemed all too easy.  So, I signed on the dotted line.

What was the single most important thing we had to buy to get my home business started?  A bookcase from Ikea to HOLD all the massive amounts of product.  My second bedroom instantly went from a place to pay bills and sometimes oil paint or play World of Warcraft, to a SEX TOY STORE!  I have feather boas and black lace gloves, stacks of Hearts on Fire, Mona Lisa (these are all fast selling products) baskets of vibrators, Kama Sutra Gift Boxes, catalogs, business cards.  And then an entire shelf in an existing bookshelf had to be emptied to hold all my party files.

A very important Brown Bag Party prop are the infamous ManBoards.  I cut off  a cover from a binder and on the front, behind the plastic cover, you put a sexy picture of a man (I got mine from Playgirl magazines) and on the other side where the pocket is, I filled it with a catalog, sale items, party theme ideas, an order form, etc.   Since I have a very liberal background, I made WomanBoards too, which I must say,  husbands at the couples party deeply appreciate.  Come to think of it, my lesbian shoppers appreciate the WomanBoards too!

Brown Bag Parties are filled with games, depending on the group.  I always bring tons of prizes in case it’s a real partying group.  The game that makes them laugh and run off to the bathroom the fastest is a take on pass the orange.  Instead, they pass a doubled headed dildo between their knees in one direction, and a vibrating shower toy passed under their chins in the other direction.  I hit some pop music and let it happen.  This game is guaranteed hysteria and offers the best pictures for later to enjoy.  I’ll let you imagine this one.

As it turns out, I love the Couples parties.  The men WANT to learn how to please.  It’s awesome to watch them arrive cocky, laughing and sniggering.   Then suddenly they begin listening very intently, and their jokes simmer down.  I have been asked the most intense and intelligent questions by the men as it turns out.  Those couples had some hot times when their packages arrived.

The most interesting development was when an older woman at her daughters party was confused by the G-spot toys.  So, I began to carefully explain just where the G-Spot was by outlining the basic information about a womans genetalia – and the fact there were three openings to understand, and their purpose.  She was extrememly upset and declared she only had one opening.  She had gone through life believing she had had a baby and did all her eliminations through one opening between her crotch.  I took the time to carefully explain to her how to find all her errogenous zones and in particular her infamous g-spot.

You know what happened?  Not only did she buy lots of product that night, but she attended two more parties and always bought more new items to try.  We had unleased the woman in her.  I always thought about her husband and if he was delighted in the new wife he had.  This was precisely why I wanted to sell sex toys for a living.  To unleash womens natural sensual instincts!

Then there is the demonstration part of the party.  I ask everyone to offer to try out spa products and come back to tell us how they worked.  I send some women in to the restroom to try out our Mona Lisa which is a stimulation product.  The actual name of this product is “What Makes Mona Lisa smile ……..oooooooooohhhhh”  Yep, it’s written on the bottle that way.  The fun begins when each woman comes out of the restroom going, “oooooooooooohhhhhhh” as the product begins to stimulate them.    Makes me smile just to think about it.

My girlfriend Trish in California has signed up as a Brown Bag consultant too, and LOVES it.  She is remarkable at giving parties.  She actually did one recently for Firemen!  And she has another coming up with Roller Derby gals.  I have a Bride Party coming up.  Each party is very unique and I love the excitement of placing out all my spa products and then the toys and just letting the party happen on it’s own.  Because, mind you, it will.    The toys ARE the party!

If you need to plan the best party of your life, for any occasion, give me a shout.  I do parties in both California and Arizona.  Otherwise, come sell with me.  It’s the job of a lifetime.

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Published in: on February 1, 2010 at 8:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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